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I’m tired of his conniving family – Chicago Tribune

Dear Amy: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for the past year. I brought my pets with me and we moved in with him last December. He’s a great guy – absolutely the best!

The problem arises with his house. He owns a three-bedroom house.

Last July, his sister and her family moved in with him.

This brought the total number of people from two adults, three cats and two dogs to four adults, six children, three cats and two dogs.

My cats have reached their limits with the children and are avoiding them.

My dogs love being with the kids, but because one is a puppy, they complained and now my dogs have to stay outside or in the garage regularly.

I absolutely HAD it with this family.

I feel like my boyfriend and I have become prisoners in his house because there is constant drama and chaos.

When his sister’s family has a fight, we basically have to sit in our room, or in the garage (which we eventually converted into a bedroom), while they slam doors and things around the house.

And if we even TRY to bring things up, it’s World War III.

How do I tell my boyfriend that I’m fed up with them taking advantage of him and disrespecting his home and belongings?

I understand they were there when I moved here, but I want them gone as quickly as possible, but I don’t want to be the bad guy!

– Woman standing on the edge

Dear Standing: Even though you claim that this family has encroached on your friend – and you, by your own admission, the family was already living there when you moved there. (They moved into the house in July, and you moved in in December.)

You took this as a problem with them crowding you out, but you made the choice to move in when they were already there.

I point this out to emphasize that you have no valid reason to put your foot down in this crowded house.

This arrangement obviously does not work for you and the animals for which you are responsible.

Your friend may be overwhelmed, but if he wants his sister and her many relatives to find another place to live, he should tell them.

He sounds like a very generous person, but if he, you, his family members, their children and the animals are all miserable, then things need to change.

Moving his relatives can be a difficult prospect, especially for someone like your husband, who hides in his bedroom.

However, you are an individual with choices and if your living situation is not healthy for you and your animals, then you should seek shelter elsewhere.

Dear Amy: I have helped my sister’s children over the years. (She is a single mother.)

I have provided holidays every summer, school clothes at the end of the summer, organized many Christmas holidays for them and made sure they had presents, and I have helped by giving money to their mother.

Now they are adults.

The youngest is getting married soon in my city.

The wedding is small and I didn’t make the guest list.

I’m disappointed, but I understand they are on a tight budget.

The problem is that my sister asked to stay with me during the weekend of festivities and I feel like it’s a very insensitive request and rub my nose because I wasn’t invited.

Right or wrong, I have a feeling it would be hard to watch the weekend of wedding festivities and not be there. How do I respond?

– Angry aunt

Dear Upset: You’ve been a very generous family member, but this doesn’t guarantee a return on your investment. I’m sorry you weren’t included in this celebration, and I can understand why this feels like a snub.

You can say “no” to your sister, but I think you should let her stay with you and do something special for yourself during this time. Plan your own adventure outside the city.

Dear Amy: Your response to “Hapless Husband” was terrible. His wife was in a running group and a man from the group texted her.

She has freedom of choice. She has the right to make friends outside her marriage. He shouldn’t be looking at her texts.

– Angry

Best Upset: His wife showed him these text messages, possibly because she was looking for her husband’s take. I could understand why he was worried.

(You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)